Hi everyone,
I wanted to create this discussion to discuss all the good memories we had with Homaira jon.

Homaira jon,
I remember your smile, your laugh…the way we had our scrunchie laugh…your style, your grace, your radiance your ‘noor’…you were just you and I love you. May God grant you the highest place in heaven. Life will not be the same without you.

salam, may allah swt bless her soul. i remember her smile, her laugh, our conversation a few days ago. plz respect her life. we all are here in this donya, but no one deserves to go this way. if we read the Quran more, we see that in every moment in life or death, everything is written. tobah, may allah bless her soul. we are here in this donya for a short time, but Allah swt put us here to learn from one another, from our experiences, our stories. when my grandpa died, she was there at the funeral, when my ama died, she was there. no one said she had to do that, but she did that. she had a great heart, in the last year, in the last month in the last week, i got to be a closer friend of hers, and it hurts my heart, to think of what she felt, what she went through, i have prayed all day for her. we as human beings, have loved ones, all of us and to think of one sec without them, to put ourselves in their shoes. may allah bless her soul, and help her family and friends through this tough time.

As I try to find answers to why such crul acts take place, I can’t help going to memory land and remebering more stories……..
Now that Homira is gone and we are all shocked and still in disbelieve….there is one thing we should do as Afghan women/girls…we need to have a support group for our girls to feel like they have some one to talk to and convey their conserns….
If only Homaira could re-live the last moments of her life, perhaps she would have loved a caring heart and mind to actually see what was going to happen to her…..
I think we should make this the last of such acts, we should remember Homaira by helping and offering the supporting hand, heart and mind to every one in need ………
Homaira was a great person and a well respected community member, I will always rmember her with love.

fouzi

I agree with you, Fouzia-jon. I’m not sure what her situation was, but it seems that she had to deal with a psychopath. I’m sure her friends were concerned for her and tried to help, but I don’t think anyone thinks that something like this could actually happen. Women need to take it very seriously if they see their girlfriend, sister, family member, etc. being harrassed, threatened or abused.

I remember Homaira as someone who was carefree and happy-go-lucky. I guess you never know what someone is really going through…..

I just hope she didn’t suffer too much. I think of her being left out on a sidewalk all night in that condition, left to die by a madman, and I can’t help but cry….

Thank you Sheila for starting this discussion board. I think it is good to remember a person for the wonderful memories they left and learning from their example in life.

I saw Homaira grow up from a young and shy girl to a beautiful, caring and successful young woman. The best memory I have of her is of her radiant smile. Even if she was having a bad day, she didn’t let that affect others and rather, brightened their day with her laugh and smile.

I remember that when Amir was born, she was so affectionate to him. When he was about one, he was drawn to her and always gave her these big kisses. She would laugh and say that it was because she was the only blonde Afghan girl he knew. Amir had a crush her on ever since. Her personality was the kind that just attracted people to her presence. When I was crying about her loss yesterday and told him that she was gone, he was very quiet and sad. He later told me, “I remember her. She came over our house and played Catch Phrase. She was wearing a green dress.” That was last year when friends came over to our house for dessert after we all got together for dinner. She was wearing a beautiful green dress and looked stunning and even Amir remembered that months later.

The other good memories I have of her is the games that she would come up with for baby showers. She loved that game with the clothes pin that you would have to give out if you said “baby” or the mother’s name. She just brightened up every gathering.

I also remember her amazing sense of style. She was stunning and carried herself with such grace. She wore the best clothes, but it didn’t make it all that she was about, but just one part of her outgoing personality. At every wedding that we saw each other, she would go out of her way to say Salaam and take pictures with me. I always commented on her beautiful gowns and asked her where I could find such nice dresses and she would share all of her style secrets with me. Through fashion, she created art. She had a talent for putting together things in a way that I could never do. I used to joke with her that I wish she was my stylist and she would tell me that whenever I wanted to go shopping, she would be there to help. She really meant it and I always appreciated her kindness.

The last time I saw her was at the Now Roz festival in LA. She was so excited to visit and sent me messages on Facebook. I would get messages from her late at night while online here and I would ask her why she wasn’t asleep. She told me one time that she has so much energy sometimes that she couldn’t sleep. I think it was the positive energy that so many people remember about her.

When we pass away, we don’t leave anything behind except our good deeds and charity. I knew Homaira from the days when we started the Afghan Student Association. She was at every event, with a smile and always willing to volunteer and help out. She was caring and wanted to help children in Afghanistan. I remember that after most of us graduated, she and Tabasum were the leaders who kept the GMU Afghan community together. Although ASA did not continue, each university was guided with the leadership of young people like her and Tabby.

When she would share photos of all her friends, it was evident that she kept so many young Afghan women together through bonds of friendship and mutual admiration. It was nice to see the young generation wanting to be together and not being negative about being close friends with other Afghans.

Homaira was an example for all of us of how one person’s positive energy and good deeds can make a difference in not just one person’s life, but one’s community and those in need.

We will all miss you Homaira. Justice will be served in this life and the afterlife. Thank you for touching our lives with your smile and sweet personality.

BismillahirRahmanirRahim

I thought I didn’t know her, but just found out that we had met her back when we visited USA years ago. All i remember is that she was very sweet and friendly. Still have her beautiful pic she gave as a memory…didn’t know she grew up to be such a beautiful woman.

May Allah bless her, forgive her and give patience to her family & friends

Mariam jon,
Thank you so much for writing such a detailed and beautiful description of your memories and our memories that we shared with her. I have been at such a loss for words that it was very enlightening yet tearful to read this description of Homaira jon in the past tense. I still haven’t been able to accept it.

I agree and thank you all for your comments, Allah swt knows best, to him we belong and we are born in this world and to him we go. My great aunt called me and told me to stop crying, to pray, to make nafl for her, and I do, but everytime I think again about her pain and sufferring in that moment, that makes me cry, that makes me hurt, she is shayeed and Allah swt knows best.

samira jan , you are a great role model for us young afghan girls, iam only 18 and i dont know much about life , i know young afghan girls my age and even younger have lots of problemes and questions about life, we need positive role models like your self to help , that will be a great sawab for you , i have known many afghan girls specially teen ager been victims of many afghan guys , iam not saying all the afghan guys are bad , but i seen afghan girls been harrased, abused, picked on, and been told if they talk against them they will face the consequenses , in our culture it s a taboo to talk to your parents or any one else about your problemes that are male related b/c the first thing they ask what did you do?? i wish you open a chat room so that young girls can come annonymously and post their problemes and seek advice, lets all afghan women talk to each other and be there for each other so this never happens to any one else ,
thanks

I remember her from concerts and helping me looking for singers at my cousin’s and sister’s wedding. She was a fabulous person.

Dear Maha,

I am very flattered and humbled that you took the time to write something so sweet about me. It is very nice to know that you can touch people’s lives without knowing, just like Homaira-jon touched mine. I really don’t think of myself as a role model, but a woman who was once a young girl with hopes and dreams, living in a double world (Afghan and American). Over the years, I have had many people, women and men, try to crush my dreams or try to bring me down, but I kept going. I know what it feels like to not be able to talk to my parents or family about certain things when I was younger because of FEAR of being judged. I really took a chance with my life in many ways to follow my dreams and be myself, and not let Afghan culture or negativity influence me.

I am not speaking for Homaira-jon because I do not know her situation with this coward who took her life, but I am so sad when I think of the fear she had to endure having a madman stalk and harass her. It should be unacceptable for Afghan girls and women to see other Afghan females be brought down in anyway - whether verbally, emotionally, physically, or mentally. It’s just unacceptable!!! I tend to get overprotective of young Afghans, so if there is ANYONE out there who is in a bad situation (female or males) who needs someone to talk to, please write to me (samiraatash@gmail.com). If I get a lot of emails, then I will consider opening up a chat room for the sake of helping others. I am not a therapist, and I don’t have all the answers, but I will do what I can to help. I can not stomach seeing or hearing about another innocent young Afghan girl being treated this way.

Let’s stand up for each other and not tolerate abuses of any kind. Afghan women are not animals to be slaughtered in the middle of the night!

Homaira’s story should teach us a lesson to not be ashamed to talk about abuse, to be a bit more open as a culture in dealing with these issues, to not let Afghan men like this jerk bully women around….and to not be afraid to talk to someone or take action if you are scared, lonely, or feel danger.

May God bless Homaira’s soul.

Her smile and laughter, who can forget. She always welcomed me with her salaams and hugs. Her sweet voice echoes through my head and its so hard to know she’s not among us anymore, but at the same time comforting to know she has returned to Allah, jannatan naseebesh.

The Homygak I knew never took anything negative to the heart and was kind. She cherished the good moments and lived every moment. She was a role model in that she always forgave and forgot, a strength Allah blessed her with.

I am thankful to Allah that He blessed me with one last chance to see her, one last chance to be hugged by her and one last chance to say good bye this past April 2008.

I haven’t been able to put the words together to talk about my friend. All I know is the past few days have been like a terrible nightmare. The type that you are trying to scream and nothing comes out of your mouth so you are struggling to wake up.

Sweet and wonderful Homaira was very young when I met her. She must have been 6 or 7 years old and I was actually friends with her older sister. Throughout the years, we would always remember the first time we met at her parents home (since my dad and her dad were friends back in the days). I remember vividly sitting in their living room, where I just spent the last few days with her family mourning her death. The same living room, where we giggled, watched TV and showed each other bags and bags of jewelry. In this living room many years ago, her Grandmother (God rest her soul) was telling us all a story about her attempt to exercise. I can even remember her Grandmother’s sweet voice as she was telling this story, but the way she told this story just made us both look at each other and start laughing uncontrollably. I know everyone else was looking at us like we were crazy. Even her Grandmother was like, ‘what did I say that made you two laugh so much!’ We made her Grandmother laugh because we were laughing so much. We would stop and then 10 minutes later we would look at each and start laughing again. I knew from that moment, this individual would be in my life forever.

This entire weekend, I was flooded by emotion, shock and disbelief. You read or hear about death on the news or it happens to people around you but you never think the unthinkable. I was overwhelmed by such good memories of Homaira jon because thats all we had. We had great times. Every where I looked, something reminded me of her. Scents, clothing, jewelry pictures, places, flowers, colors…and then I realized something. I realized that all these things that are reminding me of her are happy and beautiful things. She was so colorful and happy. No matter what we always said together, ‘Be positive, it will make us happier!’ She would sometimes meet me at work and we both would agree, ‘We are only going to talk about things that make us happy, there is too much evil in the world.’

If I were to sit here and write all of the things that are in my heart, I would be writing a novel to my friend. I always told her she was a celebrity. I would like to always remember her as a well educated, respected, beautiful, gifted and intelligent woman. Most importantly, she was so humble and would get along with everyone.

Homaira jon, I am not sure if I am ready to accept this though it is reality that we have been created by the Merciful Lord and to him we must return. I didn’t hug you last Sunday because we were all sweaty from Volleyball practice. I wish I hugged you anyways. I am glad I had a chance to see you when we walked out from McDonalds together (your favorite place and my least favorite …lol). I close my eyes and remember us both dashing for our cars to quickly get home and I told you a corny joke again and we both laughed our scratchy laugh together. You know the one we do when we are trying to giggle but then we turn it to a scratchy laugh.

…..that laugh….our laugh…everytime I remember our laugh together…I smile.

Homaira Jon you were the friendliest and nicest person i ever met I remember when i used to see at the afghan soccer games and come over to your house i miss those good old times. I will never forget the last time i saw you which was July 3, 2008 when your dad and mom invited use to Bamyian Restuarant for dinner i can’t believe you had your last dinner there and i won’t forget the clothes you whore the thing i will never forget and will always remember is when you said your last good bye to me and your parent that scene, i will never forget. I miss you so much. Especially your sister she misses you so much. You will always be in my hear R.I.P HOMARIA RAHMAN (1983-2008)

…. the few great times i have meet her .. she was always smiling.. and radiant i will remember her that way forever! …. her soul and family are in my prayers!

much love and respect!

Marta

Hi Sheila,

I had lunch with you and Homaira a couple months ago at cafe delux. I wanted to attend her service but I was out of town. It was hard to be at work today. Our team misses her so much and it is hard because we new her in a work setting but she was still close with us. Everyday emails, phone conferences. Im not sure if you have seen her work items but she had a huge yellow smiley face hanging on the wall, so every time someone walket into her cube, they could see it. Yellow like her sunshine personality with a sweet smile like hers. Homaira, your friends, and family are in my prayers. I hope you will keep in touch with me, thank you for sharing your memories for us to read.

Beautiful story….where is the tissue? : (

I did not know Homaira personally; however my cousins and family friends were very dear to her. I remember her in attendance at my cousin Zohra’s wedding years ago (probably 10 or more) in DC and I still remember how much she stood out during the attan dance towards the end: so many people remarked on her tall, statuesque figure and beautiful/graceful form of doing the attan (not to mention, she stuck it out till the very end!) The fact that I can still remember this even though I was probably in the 7th grade at the time (I just finished college) really tells you something about her! I really wish I got to know her better. Rest In Peace Homi Jaan.

I remember that day at kaka bashyar’s house when we were all playing serades, and you didn’t want to play but you mouthed some of the answers to me, and i couldn’t stop smiling. Everytime i would see you, you always would say, “Elai Jan, omg you’ve grown up so quickly, your a beautiful young lady.” You would be smiling too. I won’t forget your smile!
I’ve faced reality because i know Allah(swt) needed you. I know the angels are with you. I know.
We all need to have sabr. Mashallah The “Ghazali’s last” video helps a lot with grieving. It makes you realize what death is about. Death is not the end. July 4th was homaria’s last day, no matter what. The Iman at the fatyah said “Allah chose that day no matter if she passed due to poor health or a car accident, it was her time to go.” Allah has reasoning behind everything.

I do remember. How could I forget. Wasn’t the waiter weird. He put bacon on my sandwhich and did he ever bring the ketchup to our table?
She kept talking about lol Habib and I said Homaira jon stop talking about the CD Release party…your friend is going to get bored lol She said ohhhh noooo Jennifer???? Nooooooo she’s cool, she knows all about that stuff …..lol
Hhahah Omg and I remember how I tried to open the glass door that I thought was the door but it was actually the glass wall. Omg hahah
I am laughing so hard because I remembered a comment she made that was hilarious!!! Jennifer thank you for making me remember that day.

I didn’t realize this discussion was going on, I had posted this on the wall of the group. I have so many more great memories with her, but this just stood out to me because it shows what kind of person she was.

Homy Jaan, let me share some of you sweetness with everyone.
Let me outline the story. I had a huge final and 2 papers to write. I got up at 5AM, 6AM VA time. At about seven Virginia time I get an IM from Homy Jaan saying good morning and being sweet as usual. She had AIM on her phone. Here I am stressing, but she is making me laugh with her stories. I finish up and head to school. She called before my test and we talked for about an hour. I get off the phone and as I was sitting there about to get my test this is what she said….
Me (6/26 11:06am):Omgosh I’m going to fail!
Homaira Rahman (6/26 11:07am): no no be positive! pray three qulwalas and one alhamd!
Me (6/26 11:09am): Lol I don’t know them. I’m such a bad Muslim
Homaira Rahman (6/26 11:10am): oww no girl I qill send it to u in english. u havvvveeee to know them
Me (6/26 11:17am): Lol I have a book, but yes please help
Homaira Rahman (6/26 11:17am): its k better late than never!
I took my test. I passed it with flying colors. I gurantee if I didn’t have her there guiding me…I wouldn’t have done it. I was so bummed, I had a hunch I was going to bomb it. She gave me positive light. We all need positive light right now. Everyone that knew her, you know that she never wanted you to have a dull moment. She brought smiles to everyones faces even on their worst day. Allah needed her..the best go because their chosen by the best. You have a vision in her head of what angels do right? Think about how Homaira Jaan was on this earth…she was an angel. This was her time to go. Allah planned it perfectly. The fireworks were a celebration of her life. That day was the day she saw Habib Jaan every year. She wouldn’t see him this year. Allah brought her up there to see him on that day. As it was said previously, we cannot be selfish…Allah needed her…She was well-fitted for the position.
Don’t get me wrong, she had everything and more on this earth and I don’t know if she’s in a better place, because how much better can it get? I do know, with whatever is her mission up there she will be right there with you when asking and praying to Allah, just think she has another hook up, ;). May you all have brighter tomorrows. I love all of you. Rest in Peace BEAUITFUL ANGEL OF MINE

P.S. I think it’d be a wonderful idea to have something started for her. Whether its a charity or an event and all the proceeds are donated to children in Afghanistan. We were just talking the other day about helping children in Afghanistan because I told it is one of my goals in life. I’d be more than happy to pull something together.